a hidden treasure.

I have some old books that were my great Grandma Jensen's, a couple cookbooks, some poetry books, and one on church history. I love them, their worn covers and fragile yellow pages, I love knowing what she was interested in. And they all have her handwriting in the margins, underlining parts of poems, making changes to recipes, I made some cookies following her adjustments, and they turned out so good!

I found a poem written on a loose piece of paper inside one of them, when I first read it I just sat there and cried. I really felt like it was a message from her. I am so grateful that I know she, and all my other family members who have passed on, are watching over me. I think of them often.

success is in the way you walk
the path of life each day.
it's in the little things you do
and in the things you say.
success is not in getting rich
or rising high to fame,
it's not alone in winning goals
which all men hope to claim.
success is being big of heart
and clean and broad of mind.
it's being faithful to your friend,
and to the stranger kind.
it's in the children whom you love
and all they learn from you.
success depends on character
and every thing you do.
{edgar a. guest}

a love letter

Dear Brock,
I know you don't like it when I tell you you are a perfect husband and father, but since you aren't here to stop me I'm saying it. You're perfect.

Last night I was loading the dishwasher and you walked in after changing and putting Claire in bed for the night, I loved how you gave me a little kiss and helped me finish up cleaning the kitchen. After you put Trey in his pj's and I attempted to take him to bed, while he cried "my dadda, my dadda..." you picked Trey up and I could tell he was so excited for extra time with you. You brushed his teeth, took him to bed, read him a book, helped him say his prayers, kissed him and shut off the light. I stood out in the hallway listening with a  BIG goofy grin. I officially married the finest man ever. And this wasn't an out-of-the-ordinary night.

You held my hand and looked into my eyes while I gave birth to our children. You pay the bills, make the bed, and take out the garbage. You make me dinner, and built me a kitchen table. You let me buy fabric and get up with the kids so I can run in the morning. You sing with me in the car, and dance with me in the kitchen. You know my clothes size and about my irrational fear of the dark. You think I'm the best cook.
You work so hard at school, but you are embarrassed when I tell my mom you have a 4.0 and made the dean's list {I'm just a little bit proud}. When I told you the other night I didn't know where you find the motivation, and you said, "I think about you and Trey and Claire." I could have kissed you...oh wait I did.
You provide me with such sense of security, I know we are in excellent hands.
I love watching Trey and you wrestling on the floor or holding Claire and making her laugh. They love their Dad, and I know it is because they can feel how much you love them. I love watching you be a Dad. You are so full of kindness and patience and love. I feel so blessed to have you by my side forever.

xoxo, Amy

perfect day.

I just experienced one of the best days of my life:
family.
temple.
little white dresses.
covenants.
smiles.
tears.
love.
forever.
...just some of the things that were involved.

it was one of those days that reminded me why I love being a wife and mother so very, very much. one of those days when it feels like I've touched heaven.

One of those days that created a happy memory I will treasure forever.

trey

he is curious, silly, independent, happy, loud, stubborn, caring, smart, grouchy, loving, sensitive, messy, sneaky and obedient.
he is {definitely} two

...and we love it all!

roller coaster

that word pretty much sums up today. So up and down- I told Brock I was either, laughing, melting, or losing it!

I was laughing when I got home from my run and realized my pants AND sweater had been on inside out, obviously not with it when I left the house.
I was melting when Trey folded his arms and stayed focused long enough on his prayer to bless, Claire, Dad, Mom and Brynn. When he was done he high fived me and said "I did it!"
I lost it when I packed us all up, got to the hospital, parked, got the stroller out, put Trey in, got the sling out, put Claire in, hiked to the entrance, waited at admitting, got to Orthopedics, waited for the doctor, and then had her tell me they had confirmed me for the wrong day, and she actually wanted to take Trey's cast off NEXT tuesday. I cried when we got back to the car.

I've really been trying to focus on the laughing and melting moments more, even though I feel like I have been losing it more than I would like to admit. With Brynn's cancer returning. I have been praying and thinking about her so much I feel like my mind can't seem to focus on much more.
I am striving to remember the eternal course, and recognize the many tender mercies I receive daily. To be more humble and admit I cannot do it alone. I need heaven's help in all it's ways and in all I do. I know it's there. Today a friend called- not knowing what's been going on or what kind of day it was- and asked how I was doing. If that's not a miracle I don't know what it is.

half

I am sure every mother can relate, I feel like Claire was just born, but it seems like she has always been a part of our family. How is she already 6 months old?!

Having a second baby is a strange thing. I just assumed my babies would look alike, grow alike, and well, be alike. But this little lady is different from her brother, and I have grown and learned as a mother because of it.

She is so alert when she is awake, she follows mine and Brock's every move, and all it takes is a glace in her direction and she's grinning ear to ear. She loves to be involved in whatever is going on, and is perfectly happy rolling and scooting around on the floor trying her hardest to get to whatever toy Trey left in his path. She is a girl on a schedule, she loves her "beauty sleep", and I love her for it :) She is a little snacker, unlike her brother was at this age, if she nurses for longer than 5 minutes it's a miracle. Every few hours she comes in for an "appetizer" as we've come to call her feedings. I feel like she needs more, but she's content so I guess it's working :) along with that, she's our little pipsqueak! Also, quite unlike her brother! We laugh at her little noodle limbs- she's started getting up on her knees and launching herself forward, and all I can think is, "you're too little for that!"
She loves to be sung to, and cuddled while she sucks on her two little fingers and clutches her blanket. Trey even knows this and when she is upset will go get her blanket and place it on her hand {that's one major similarity- what would I do without the "blankies" of the house?} She has her two bottom teeth, and soon {whenever I get around to mashing up an avocado} will be getting her first taste of "real" food! She even said, "dada" the other day, but despite what Brock says, I think it was a fluke!

 When she was born I was amazed that I could love two tiny people so fully and yet so equally, and over the past six months my heart has only grown to love them more. I am blessed to spend my days with these two perfect people that love me so wholly despite my many failings- they inspire me to do the same.