9.19.2015

(no hurry) september

As September started, our calendar was already looking crazy! And now, looking back at it we had at least one thing every single day! 

Something that I had been thinking about was the word "hurry", I know that when I am saying hurry, or other words or phrases like it it's because I am feeling stressed. And I also know that I don't want my children feeling hurried through their childhoods. So with these thoughts in mind I decided to challenge myself to not say the word hurry for the month of September... I wasn't perfect, I said hurry and other things like it 7 times, I kept a tally in my phone, but I can say that this challenge really helped us, especially me, in our daily comings and goings. I made sure to plan enough time so that my children would be able to do things the way they wanted and on their own. When we were out and I was tempted to hurry them along it made me step back and really think about why I felt that way, and pretty much everytime it was because I wanted to do things on my timetable, which I know isn't necessarily the right one. I had so many extra sweet moments with them because I wasn't trying to rush, and just let myself see things more from their sweet perspectives.

One day we were having a hard day; so much was going on, everyone was tired and a little bit cranky, I was doing laundry and was listening to an interview on the MormonChannel "keeping your sanity in a home of little ones" trying to gain a little bit more patience. I was walking up the stairs with a basket of laundry and a big plastic airplane falls onto my head and cut my ear. In the interview a woman was just talking about the physical demands of parenting young children... I'm not going to lie I cried a little bit, it hurt! but I also had to laugh, I was glad I was listening to that interview so that I could find the humor in it... 

Thinking back on my little challenge I know that when I'm feeling stressed about the things to be done, and feel like I'm about to lose myself to my emotions, it is because I am trying to hurry MYSELF too much...which then can spill over to my children. when I sense that feeling creeping in, I know that I have the power to choose how I respond, and when I remember that, I also know that my reactions teach my children how to react. how else can I become the patient person and mother I'm striving to be?when those icky parts of ourselves are being pulled out, we have the chance to learn from them (and learn and learn and learn) until we master them. because when those (hard, crazy, frustrating, emotional) moments have passed and I CHOSE to feel patience and love, our home is a place of peace and love. I know that my relationships with my husband and children are worth slowing down for.

6 years




                       (then&now)


I'm a few days late...okay more than a few, but I couldn't not write about how wonderful it was to celebrate another anniversary! 6 years seems like a good amount of time...but really I feel like we are still just starting out. looking back I know we have learned a lot about being married! 

I have learned that while we are both capable of great things individually, as a pair we can accomplish so much more. It's so amazing to look back on the goals we set as newlyweds and see how our planning and hard work has brought us here! 

I am so grateful for Brock and the love he shows me, it's so amazing having someone who is always on your side. his love and confidence magnifies the good in me, and gives me strength to face my weaknesses. i have never felt held back or hindered in any way being married to Brock, he has given me unending support and confidence, and as we have worked together to solve life's problems, I can see how coming out on the other side of them has strengthened our love for one another. 

we have found it is so important to view our relationship as a living thing, something that needs nurturing and dedicated thought and planning and care. It's easy to get caught up in all the everyday details of running a home and taking care of a family, but when I step back and remember why we are doing it all, I find so much joy. I don't see our marriage as two separate people with two separate roles; we know we are united in our goals for how we want our life and our family's life to be, so whatever we are doing, whether it's me at home or him at school, we are working towards those goals. I know by being at home I'm supporting him at school, and he's supporting me and our children by working hard there, it brings such a greater sense of purpose and meaning to each day knowing that. And, when I get the text that he's on his way home to us, I still get butterflies...cheesy, but very true!


9.15.2015

school!

well the day has arrived, Trey officially is going to school. yes, it's only a couple of days a week, and only for the morning, but it hasn't stopped me from having (multiple) meltdowns about it! my baby is on his own in a school!?! He was so excited, and so ready, he's helped me be brave about it all.

I've had a lot of emotions leading up to this and figured out, while I am sad about him going, I am also very sad about this phase of life ending. I'm no longer a mom with all her babies with her all day. I'll always have children in school now (until the last one graduates, but no need to even begin talking about that day!). 

And while I am so happy and excited for Trey to experience more, it is SO hard leaving your precious child in someone else's care! someone else gets to spend time with him, play with him, watch him discover new things, and teach him. but I also know that someone else will get to see his kind and thoughtful heart, and my biggest hope is that he will always remember how special that is.

When I picked him up today the first thing he said to me was, "that was SO much fun!" The whole way home he went on and on about all the awesome things he did at school, my heart swelled! here was my first baby all grown up and telling me about his day, I sat there and prayed hard that he will always be this excited to come home and tell me everything I missed while we were apart. I love you Trey!