never loved you more

when it was just the two of us i loved going on long walks and packing a picnic. our late night bike rides, and spontaneous dinner dates. i loved sleeping in, and making ourselves breakfast in bed. you'd send flowers and little love notes to me at work. on saturdays we would go to the grocery store and meander up and down the aisles, then probably stop for ice cream after.
our family was just you and i, and i loved it.

now things are a little different. you've been by my side through the ups and downs of three pregnancies and deliveries. there's no more sleeping in, and a night out takes at least a week of planning and preperation, our love notes are scribbled on post it notes and paper towel. do you think we could we have counted it as breakfast in bed when trey came in and dumped Cheerios on us?
you get home on friday night, and instead of being dressed up ready to go out, i'm in yesterday's clothes, covered in various body fluids that are not my own.

i was thinking about what romance means to me now, and a few moments came to mind- watching you race through the mall to the potty with trey so he wouldn't miss Santa's arrival. claire's messy, sideways ponytail i know you put in so she wouldn't get her yogurt in her hair. being surprised by a clean kitchen when I thought you were studying. you helping me change brigham in the night after he puked, peed, and pooped all over himself. these things mean everything to me.

our life has changed a lot. and i've never loved you more.


10 days new

our baby Brigham has been here for 10 days!

we are all loving having him finally here in our arms, trey still asks me, "Brigham came out of your tummy?...There's no more more baby in your tummy?" I don't think he or claire remember before I was pregnant!
 it's so fun watching trey become a big brother again. he is so much more aware of everything than when claire was born, and he is such a big help to me, getting things for claire while I'm nursing and always checking Brigham and giving him toys and talking to him about all the things he wants to do with him. Trey loves telling everyone he has a new little brother- he's so sweet!
Claire has to do everything trey does, so she's right in there too, helping me change diapers and piling blankets on Brigham. I knew she would seem older once the baby was here, but she seems TOO old! she loves "da baby"! She is so silly and smart and her squeaky little voice singing songs to Brigham is so cute! she loves to give him kisses and is constantly asking to hold him.
everyone's asking me how it's going with my 3 little people- it is busy, but i was prepared for that! having one baby I thought I was so busy, then having two i laughed at my former 'busy self'. i think this has been the easiest transition so far, maybe i'm just used to the chaos now?! with each new baby technically you could say there is more work, but there is so many more other things- kisses and cuddles, and more love! it sounds so cheesey, but it's true!
we're all just staying in our pajamas, and eating pb&j sandwiches, and i am loving watching these tiny siblings get to know one another. Seeing how much, and how easily they love each other makes me cry- I feel so blessed and overwhelmed to be their mom! Brock and i say everyday that we love them too much- i know that's not possible but I can't think of another way to say it! my heart is just so full, it amazes me that I can love each of them so fully and that the love just grows deeper with time.


wilde, party of 5

it's a boy!
Brigham James (finally!) joined our family on January 10th at 8:19am!
we are simply smitten, and trying to soak in all his "newness", and trey and claire are always checking on and kissing their "little brudder"!
My heart has grown again and feels like it could actually burst with the love I have for my children- there really is nothing sweeter!


and we're back

christmas was wonderful! we relaxed, played, slept in, laughed, cried, ate and partied. why does time have to fly when you're having fun? we came back to saskatoon on the 28th with my sister Abby and the rest of my family joined us on the 1st...I love having visitors! i treasure the times my whole family is under one roof! i tried every trick in the book to get this baby here for them, but no success, I can't say I'm too surprised, overdue is how we do things around here. being with family for the last (almost) month has been a pure delight! it's been so nice to have help during the end of pregnancy and all the gatherings have made time go by so much quicker! it has also been good for me spiritually, I love visiting with our parents and siblings and cousins and aunts and uncles. laughing so hard one moment then crying and hugging the next, it's so comforting to be surrounded by people who understand, and love you so much, and just be reminded of what truly matters- each other. we are so blessed! it's always amazing to look back on the year and see how much I have learned and grown, and especially how loved and guided we are by Heavenly Father. I have relied on His guidance, and know I need heaven's help every day, and I know it's there. we truly had a very merry christmas, and a happy new year! ....now i try to patiently wait to meet this baby! please come soon!