tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12773654175406004022024-02-07T20:33:58.889-07:00a wilde adventurebrock + amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05699455846324868064noreply@blogger.comBlogger248125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1277365417540600402.post-27532385430963260902016-09-21T22:16:00.001-06:002016-09-22T18:02:18.916-06:00for my future selfI've been reading though my blog posts and now I'm sitting here in tears! What's the saying, "we write to experience life twice..." Something like that- don't quote me, I'm tired! I am SO grateful I've kept this blog! So many things would be forgotten without it, and even though I've been majorly slacking in it, I refuse to give it up! Now to just find a few, or ten, extra hours in the day to get everything in! <div>Well that's a pretty good Segway into life right now...hint- it's crazy!</div><div>1 student husband, 4 adorable (and loud) children, 3 days a week kindergarten and preschool, 1 dad in the bishopric, one mom in the primary presidency, 2 kids in swimming, 1 little ballerina, and everything in between, equals...I don't know what, but I'm tired! ha!</div><div>I feel like lately my mind is in a million places at once, and I have so many thoughts and so much to say that I just can't find any words to even begin! Anyone else feel that way? My heart is just so full with the love I feel for our little family- our children are growing up, and it's making me much too sad/proud/worried/excited/anxious...and trey's not even 6 yet! I swear that boy just gets more sweet and kind everyday! His tender little heart is so giving and responsible, he was definetly meant to be the big brother! Claire is just a little whirlwind- seriously she never stops running, skipping, spinning...she runs into doors and walls and people daily! she takes care of us all and is always busy doing something...good or bad is debatable.. Our little (okay, huge) brigs has gotten SO grown up these past few months, he's talking our ears off, and is so hilarious! He thinks he's 5...maybe because that's the size of shirt he's wearing! Sweet little penny is just that, SO sweet! I'm just amazed at her easy going, content nature. she calms and comforts me much more than I do her, I'm sure of it!</div><div>People always ask how 4 kids is going...and my first thought is wonderful- except I've lost my mind! Haha! I am so busy all day (and most nights) that I feel like I don't really get a chance to think my own thoughts! </div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">Life is happening and I am learning so much that it's hard to keep up- these little people puuuush me to my limits, and until I step back and really think about it I don't realize how much they have changed me! I am not the same person I was before I became "momma". They have changed me in countless ways, all for the better!</span></div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><br></span></div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">I heard a really great quote the other week, "don't prioritize your schedule; schedule your priorities!" I've been really trying to do that- I've always loved planning and I have to have some sort of plan heading into the day, and that line is exactly how I need to go about it- there will never be enough time to do "it all" but I can always make time for the most important! And with time flying like it is I realize even more how vital it is I instill what the important things are in my children each day!</span></div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-toTGwIXXwQ3dVVCTjeyD_R_KQyi7cUC4-eZGQqkTvBZJPTgV9igsBohFHRoU7cLSfe0wMdET3DZNHNBNPygzuT-V5TsfaJwBdndFUfrz9ZousPVJqx2BK8a2J5K6SpqngR5VJ_j1IRU/s640/blogger-image-311575840.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-toTGwIXXwQ3dVVCTjeyD_R_KQyi7cUC4-eZGQqkTvBZJPTgV9igsBohFHRoU7cLSfe0wMdET3DZNHNBNPygzuT-V5TsfaJwBdndFUfrz9ZousPVJqx2BK8a2J5K6SpqngR5VJ_j1IRU/s640/blogger-image-311575840.jpg"></a></div><br></span></div>brock + amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05699455846324868064noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1277365417540600402.post-79145864254885663982016-08-26T21:59:00.000-06:002016-08-26T22:11:53.299-06:00Penny Lucillegood old blogger, it's been quite a while! my posts have become few...and very far between but i refuse to give you up all together! I love reading back on posts, and (one day printing) blog books, so don't worry I am still here!<br />
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quite a few things have changed since my last post! first, and most importantly, Miss Penny Lucille Wilde was born on July 10th! Here's a little "before and after"...only 55 hours in between...<br />
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I feel like I should really start her "birth story" about a month before she was born! Because I had a miscarriage last fall, I had now been pregnant for over a year, and this pregnancy had been so much physically harder than my previous ones. Way more sick, for so much longer, and once the sickness let up a bit, my pelvic girdle pain came back much stronger than before too, and way earlier! The last few weeks before she was born you could find me crawling around the house attempting to be productive and trying to take care of my children, i felt terrible! Terrible that I was in so much pain, and terrible that i couldn't be the mother my children were used to! They were, and are, so amazing and helping me and letting me rest! </div>
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I had two different due dates, July 10th and July 19th, the kids and I headed to my doctors appointment on July 5th, and as soon as my doctor came in the room I started crying, I felt so scared and nervous and I honestly didn't know if I could make it to either due date. My amazing doctor asked me if I wanted to be induced, and i started crying harder! I felt so guilty! I felt like if I stayed pregnant to let this baby come when it wanted to it would be at the sacrifice of my other children, and if I got induced so i could walk again and take care of my family, it would be at the sacrifice of my unborn baby. I told her all of this, and she explained all my different options to me, and leaving her office I was scheduled for an induction on friday, July 8th. I called Brock and my mom, and tried to calm down, while I made a huge list of everything that HAD to be done in the next two days. Thankfully brock is the most amazing husband and was so patient, like he always is, and helped me (which means he did it all) get everything on my list checked off. Friday morning came and the hospital called and asked if I could be there at 9:30, one hours notice! I scrambled to get us all ready and pack a bag, i was shaking and trying not to cry (too hard) while my sweet trey said he would make all the beds while claire helped brigham get his shoes on. I dropped them off at a friends house, who was willing to watch them all day! amazing! my mom was on her way and I drove, and prayed, to the hospital and met brock. it was really strange, never being induced before, it was so surreal knowing we were at the beginning of our baby's arrival! At this point I was so terrified, I was scared of not getting an epidural again, scared if I was doing the right thing, and feeling guilty that i was so scared and not really excited! I'm sure that my chart said "emotional wreck" because I just cried to every nurse/doctor i saw! </div>
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we waited, and waited, and I finally got a cervidil placed at about 2:30, and then we waited some more! We joke that that day was our last date before penny was born, i wasn't having any contractions, so we just got to sit and (try to) walk and talk all day while I was monitored. I wasn't dilated at all at 7pm, so I decided to go home and sleep. I woke up saturday morning with some twinges, and by 10am contractions were coming about every 5 minutes, but not very strong, so we decided to all go to a movie! by then end of the movie they were stronger, and it was time to go get another cervidil, so my mom and abby took the kids home and brock and I headed back to the hospital. they checked me, still nothing, and put another cervidil in and we waited some more, not so much visiting this time though, my contractions were getting harder and still every 5 minutes all day long, but again around 7pm, still hardly dilated, so we decided to go home again. By this point I was feeling very defeated, tired, and yes, emotional. we got home and I prepared for the loooong night ahead. By 10am Sunday morning the contractions were very very strong, it was pain I had never experienced in my previous deliveries because of all the added pressure on my pelvis, and it was unbearable. I was praying so hard for the pain to end. We got back to the hospital and I was still barely dilated, I was a wreck, I felt like I couldn't do this for another day, or more?! I laid in assessment, while brock did everything he could to try and help me. I normally like to move around during contractions, but considering how much pain i had already been in trying to move it wasn't an option this time around. I felt so trapped and just needed a break from the pain! The doctor came in around 2pm and i was 2cm, yay! finally some progress! She ordered the epidural and the nurse came in to take us the delivery room, and she also informed us the anesthesiologist would be about 1-2 hours, I looked up at brock, and i think I saw just as much disappointment in his eyes, he wanted an epidural for me this time just as bad as I did. We got into the room and I tried to get comfortable. my nurse was so amazing, definitely an answer to my prayers, she has been a delivery nurse for 35 years, and she was a miracle worker- tucking towels and blankets under me and putting cold wash cloths on my face and arms, braiding my hair... she was hustling around the room and when she was done i finally felt some relief- and it was amazing! after about 40mins in the delivery room my nurse told me the epidural was on the way and so she and brock helped me get up to try and use the bathroom, and as soon as they stood me up I felt the pressure, I didn't tell anyone because I wanted that epidural SO badly, but a few steps later my water broke. I looked at brock and just started saying, "no, no, no, no..." I knew this was it, and that it would just be all on my own again. They carried me back to the bed and sure enough the baby was right there. I remember thinking, I had made it to the end. I had been praying for the end to come, thinking it would be in the form of an epidural because of how slowly i had been dilating, but I just dilated from 2cm to 10cm in less than an hour, so this was the REAL end. I pushed, and SHE was born in less than a minute! The doctor announced it was a girl, and brock and I looked at each other so surprised, we had both been thinking it was probably a boy! And now, FINALLY, my tears were happy ones, and it was all done! Nothing in the world can describe that amazing feeling of relief and joy and pure love! the pain was gone, and I felt amazing! </div>
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She came out healthy, crying, and with a double chin already! i couldn't (and still can't) believe I had given birth naturally for the 4th time- proof that things don't always go as planned! But even though there was no epidural, I felt like everything went the way it should, my prayers were answered, and I can't help but think of all the people we love in heaven who I know were there, and sending little penny to us. we are so grateful you are here.</div>
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brock + amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05699455846324868064noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1277365417540600402.post-2133322469412611632016-01-04T08:43:00.001-07:002016-01-06T09:38:13.731-07:00and here we are...<div><br></div>I've been pretty M.I.A. on here, but that's how I've been in everything the last little while, so I don't feel that bad about it... :) the reason is because I haven't done much more than lay on our couch, and bathroom floor for the past few months, but its all for a good reason! <span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">we have some really exciting news...</span><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEii_q2IMRaG6aX2hQneSpX9xLh0JipM6aod4pHux9-qfd65uDT1BaYseW9XNlCuYca4Ph6iJ7XGwn7JBS7xKqKHu7M-u_Fs6LKXPGnXYW3BFEIQEWVYF_eMID_puEmMTXVELYEWHJzlPp0/s640/blogger-image--1156073025.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEii_q2IMRaG6aX2hQneSpX9xLh0JipM6aod4pHux9-qfd65uDT1BaYseW9XNlCuYca4Ph6iJ7XGwn7JBS7xKqKHu7M-u_Fs6LKXPGnXYW3BFEIQEWVYF_eMID_puEmMTXVELYEWHJzlPp0/s640/blogger-image--1156073025.jpg"></a></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">we are so happy to be expecting a baby! he or she (we've seen it, and there is only one) is due to arrive in July! it is so fun seeing how excited Trey and Claire are! they were still pretty little when Brigham was born, so it's been a new experience for all of us to have them asking questions and planning for the new baby!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">I've had a lot of emotions <span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">as we have starting telling people I'm pregnant, excitement and joy obviously, but back in </span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">September I had a miscarriage, no one knew I had been pregnant and I didn't want to tell anyone about my miscarriage. I don't know all the reasons why, I just knew I didn't want to. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">But, being pregnant now I have felt like I'm only sharing half the story if I don't share that I had a miscarriage. it's hard to put it all in words, but I know so many women know, and like in all aspects of life, we experience greater joy when we have experienced sorrow, it makes us who we are.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">so, here we are, new year, new challenges, and new hope! </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">we can't wait to meet you baby!</div>brock + amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05699455846324868064noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1277365417540600402.post-34916190127604550192015-11-17T13:35:00.000-07:002015-11-27T21:56:33.991-07:00bedtime<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstylebody";">i think most parents would agree that bedtime is a loaded word. if you have a baby bedtime isn't even a real thing, it's the time that the rest of the world falls asleep while you contine feeding/soothing every 3...or 1, (or less) hours. with toddlers bedtime can be a battle field, the negotiations and demands, why won't they stay in their beds?..</span><span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstylebody";">so. much. mental. energy. </span><br>
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstylebody";">the stage that we are in right now with bedtime is unknown to us. trey and claire are (mostly) staying in their beds for a full 12 hours, and brigs is also sleeping through the night (cue the chorus of angels)!! <!-------></span><br>
<span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstylebody";">because of the spacing of our children we...lets be honest, I, didn't get many uniterrupted nights for almost 5 years. bedtime wasn't really atime for me to go sleep in my bed...so it feel a bit strange to say, but it has become one of my favorite parts of the day! we start "the process" around 6:30, they get pj's on and go the the bathroom and brush teeth, then they each pick out a book (which has evolved into them wrapping it up in their blankies for me to open) we read scriptures and say prayers and then read the stories they picked out. then we all kiss and hug brigs and he goes to bed, I take him to his room and he points to the chair and says "baby cry" which means he wants me to sing the song "baby mine". after the song i get another kiss and lay him down. then i go back into trey and claire's room and take turns laying by them and asking them about their day...and this is the time i just wish i could bottle up and keep forever! they tell me the sweetest things, things that made them happy and sad that day, and things they are worried about. then they usually have a few song requests and i will sing to them until they are alseep. so many times i've left their bedroom with tears becuase i know i might have missed out on those precious conversations if i had been rushing.</span><div><span style="font-family: "uictfonttextstylebody";">i don't see it as just "hurry and get them sleeping as fast as possible" i have learned to treasure this time when my children and i can unwind and reflect on the day together. there is usually a few apologies, mostly from me, and i just try to soak up their littleness and innocence as I rock them and sing to them and as they talk to me about their day. no matter what kind of crazy day we have had, my heart is happy when i know they are falling asleep knowing how special they are to me, and feeling safe and loved. </span><br>
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</div>brock + amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05699455846324868064noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1277365417540600402.post-20089374323494205062015-10-29T17:05:00.001-06:002015-10-29T23:27:09.424-06:00taking a showerso today while I was (trying) to take a shower my children were extra "energetic". <div>there's a lot of things that come out of your mouth as a parent that you would have never imagined you would have to say. here's a few of the things I was calling out to them:<div>-no to whatever is banging!</div><div>-please get the pen out of brigs' diaper</div><div>-yes Claire, you have to wear panties to go outside </div><div>-NO to the BANGING!</div><div>-I'll get you the toliet paper Trey! I'm almost done!</div></div><div>...all this is all while I'm trying to shower as fast as possible! they keep me on my toes, but they also keep me smiling!</div><div><br></div><div>(Her love for these fake teeth also keeps me smiling! Hahahaha!)</div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZsvLpmyVNMEYLtXSbOJSv58raVLOC5Or7hShByw6htuITM_sihnFYL-xtrloHkrEzdvMpwbq2AG5Pq1nmaVJtAne_QHDX7jSzZTbk_F-HZAJFWMonJcyDOEBJVUnkn28CD4bLdXpfwkA/s640/blogger-image-731665510.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZsvLpmyVNMEYLtXSbOJSv58raVLOC5Or7hShByw6htuITM_sihnFYL-xtrloHkrEzdvMpwbq2AG5Pq1nmaVJtAne_QHDX7jSzZTbk_F-HZAJFWMonJcyDOEBJVUnkn28CD4bLdXpfwkA/s640/blogger-image-731665510.jpg"></a></div><br></div>brock + amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05699455846324868064noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1277365417540600402.post-30241733604056808292015-10-09T14:25:00.001-06:002015-10-26T09:13:10.568-06:00He's five!<div><br></div>Trey is 5! it really is amazing how fast these past five years have gone, it is hard to believe! I remember so well the emotion of seeing his sweet little face for the first time, I look at him now and it's still the same perfect face… just on a much bigger body!<div></div><div><br></div><div>It is hard for me to even put into words how special he is to us. we are constantly amazed at his kindness and gentleness and patient nature. he is so happy, and he loves to make others happy, he has such a desire to do what is right. He definitely is meant to be a big brother, he is so sweet to Claire and Brigham, he loves them so much and is all his doing little things for them, and then tells me "mom I know this'll make them so happy!" We know he is our child by his whacky sense of humor; he gets us laughing pretty hard with his dance moves and made up words! He still loves dinosaurs and puzzles, and his newest hobby, Lego! He is very organized and meticulous, something that his teacher was quick to notice also. She said he is always so careful whenever he's coloring or painting and is always checking to make sure the toys have been put away in the right spots. He is just like that at home, which makes him my number one helper! I honestly depend on him so much, he is such a little responsible man! I tell Brock all the time that Trey can make a bed better than he can, ha! </div><div><br></div><div>Trey, you have brought nothing but immense joy to us from the moment we found out you were coming! I remember when you were born realizing that in a year we would have a one-year-old… And in three years a three-year-old… I didn't know if I was ready, but you have taught me so much, and your love for me and your patience as I learn how to be a mother has shaped me into a much better person than i was before you came. Watching you grow and become more independent, makes my heart burst with love and break all at the same time. It wish so badly for you to stay my little boy forever, but can't deny the level of happiness it brings to watch you discover new things as you grow. You are an amazing boy, who can do so much good, and my greatest goal is to help you never to forget it!</div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZO7zqQUHwb89ih_8rXp0Fw8cjcRAV2Wd7fzVGY33fTaQH97mDiCO0fqHrI9T0ckK02nqFfppU9bJcVv3mDG60gMzrAfSXT4XsObth7BlhcfI5ifnUl_aiIVT5V_MGka9B-AlUosLt4OE/s640/blogger-image-1207224470.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZO7zqQUHwb89ih_8rXp0Fw8cjcRAV2Wd7fzVGY33fTaQH97mDiCO0fqHrI9T0ckK02nqFfppU9bJcVv3mDG60gMzrAfSXT4XsObth7BlhcfI5ifnUl_aiIVT5V_MGka9B-AlUosLt4OE/s640/blogger-image-1207224470.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCqGK2_-tbPgc-cvIclnLoEHAdWz20aVn3EHC5Ve1r0M1mndK1Eei1xuL4qmltf339l0dICM9sEHLF01zE6wz1VxFcQ8PecQ0AiY8mYYgBkTM7xcS2CVa3MeOYTTWDKfHm_7cnifolX1o/s640/blogger-image-694391178.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCqGK2_-tbPgc-cvIclnLoEHAdWz20aVn3EHC5Ve1r0M1mndK1Eei1xuL4qmltf339l0dICM9sEHLF01zE6wz1VxFcQ8PecQ0AiY8mYYgBkTM7xcS2CVa3MeOYTTWDKfHm_7cnifolX1o/s640/blogger-image-694391178.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6DXf0LNaLLBpYwMlY6pSX5pXIMq6cP1mOelvsPTVlAlJn330OYY4Qy4eUeoVV5fXlUjIm-i4MhkmNV19Biyg172slYTIR69mtYq93OKJr69AmOq88NrnjeQX6RGYrbFgXoy36yPFmu-U/s640/blogger-image--722254321.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6DXf0LNaLLBpYwMlY6pSX5pXIMq6cP1mOelvsPTVlAlJn330OYY4Qy4eUeoVV5fXlUjIm-i4MhkmNV19Biyg172slYTIR69mtYq93OKJr69AmOq88NrnjeQX6RGYrbFgXoy36yPFmu-U/s640/blogger-image--722254321.jpg"></a></div><br></div><br></div><br></div>brock + amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05699455846324868064noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1277365417540600402.post-77900986013340636402015-09-19T14:16:00.003-06:002015-10-05T14:42:56.265-06:00(no hurry) september<div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">As September started, our calendar was already looking crazy! And now, looking back at it we had at least one thing every single day! </div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyAxxULclFlJwH5AquqKyoxzg9bECAbL9QdfZtLfnEKftxUwi_dXUKKKEMRdZSp4l-NxHlESV1b9ILppwDVRWuZsSsh7YUehmW80EdsIFDHBPCNlm3_Qpz3Rj-VpQyyWrA_gWHgnPJFnI/s640/blogger-image-1965567920.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyAxxULclFlJwH5AquqKyoxzg9bECAbL9QdfZtLfnEKftxUwi_dXUKKKEMRdZSp4l-NxHlESV1b9ILppwDVRWuZsSsh7YUehmW80EdsIFDHBPCNlm3_Qpz3Rj-VpQyyWrA_gWHgnPJFnI/s640/blogger-image-1965567920.jpg"></a></div><br></div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">Something that I had been thinking about was the word "hurry", I know that when I am saying hurry, or other words or phrases like it it's because I am feeling stressed. And I also know that I don't want my children feeling hurried through their childhoods. So with these thoughts in mind I decided to challenge myself to not say the word hurry for the month of September... I wasn't perfect, I said hurry and other things like it 7 times, I kept a tally in my phone, but I can say that this challenge really helped us, especially me, in our daily comings and goings. I made sure to plan enough time so that my children would be able to do things the way they wanted and on their own. When we were out and I was tempted to hurry them along it made me step back and really think about why I felt that way, and pretty much everytime it was because I wanted to do things on my timetable, which I know isn't necessarily the right one. I had so many extra sweet moments with them because I wasn't trying to rush, and just let myself see things more from their sweet perspectives.</div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"><br></div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">One day we were having a hard day; so much was going on, everyone was tired and a little bit cranky, I was doing laundry and was listening to an interview on the MormonChannel "keeping your sanity in a home of little ones" trying to gain a little bit more patience. I was walking up the stairs with a basket of laundry and a big plastic airplane falls onto my head and cut my ear. In the interview a woman was just talking about the physical demands of parenting young children... I'm not going to lie I cried a little bit, it hurt! but I also had to laugh, I was glad I was listening to that interview so that I could find the humor in it... </div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"><br></div><span style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">Thinking back on my little challenge I know that when I'm feeling stressed about the things to be done, and feel like I'm about to lose myself to my emotions, it is because I am trying to hurry MYSELF too much...which then can spill over to my children. when</span><span style="text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> I sense that feeling creeping in, I know that I have the power to choose how I respond, and when I remember that, I also know that my reactions teach my children how to react. how else can I become the patient person and mother I'm striving to be?when those icky parts of ourselves are being pulled out, we have the chance to learn from them (and learn and learn and learn) until we master them. </span><span style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">because when those (hard, crazy, frustrating, emotional) moments have passed and I CHOSE to feel patience and love, our home is a place of peace and love. I know that my relationships with my husband and children are worth slowing down for.</span>brock + amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05699455846324868064noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1277365417540600402.post-9587047673808553792015-09-19T12:24:00.001-06:002015-09-22T00:25:56.195-06:006 years<div><br></div><div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"><br></div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxdydVfOKMYI7FoveANxw-WgPi4U3GS9z8jBmSLHQz-88A_LYOT2V9dGJJ8YXLdIpv3b3vUUFrxWVufoLr36z3e7KsHuqe1xYcgxazKXmL0JkTb2O6gpWHPYdnqd5ecVakUjhXK-P5zxw/s640/blogger-image-1097122112.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxdydVfOKMYI7FoveANxw-WgPi4U3GS9z8jBmSLHQz-88A_LYOT2V9dGJJ8YXLdIpv3b3vUUFrxWVufoLr36z3e7KsHuqe1xYcgxazKXmL0JkTb2O6gpWHPYdnqd5ecVakUjhXK-P5zxw/s640/blogger-image-1097122112.jpg"></a></div><br></div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"> (then&now)</div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"><br></div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"><br></div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">I'm a few days late...okay more than a few, but I couldn't not write about how wonderful it was to celebrate another anniversary! 6 years seems like a good amount of time...but really I feel like we are still just starting out. looking back I know we have learned a lot about being married! </div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I have learned that while we are both capable of great things individually, as a pair we can accomplish so much more. It's so amazing to look back on the goals we set as newlyweds and see how our planning and hard work has brought us here! </span></div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I am so grateful for Brock and the love he shows me, it's so amazing having someone who is always on your side. his love and confidence magnifies the good in me, and gives me strength to face my weaknesses. i have never felt held back or hindered in any way being married to Brock, he has given me unending support and confidence, and as we have worked together to </span>solve life's problems, I can see how coming out on the other side of them has strengthened our love for one another. </div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"><br></div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">we have found it is so important to view our relationship as a living thing, something that needs nurturing and dedicated thought and planning and care. It's easy to get caught up in all the everyday details of running a home and taking care of a family, but when I step back and remember why we are doing it all, I find so much joy. I don't see our marriage as two separate people with two separate roles; we know we are united in our goals for how we want our life and our family's life to be, so whatever we are doing, whether it's me at home or him at school, we are working towards those goals. I know by being at home I'm supporting him at school, and he's supporting me and our children by working hard there, it brings such a greater sense of purpose and meaning to each day knowing that. And, when I get the text that he's on his way home to us, I still get butterflies...cheesy, but very true!</div></div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"><br></div><div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"><br></div>brock + amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05699455846324868064noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1277365417540600402.post-20324169350060706442015-09-15T20:10:00.001-06:002015-09-15T22:41:03.415-06:00school!well the day has arrived, Trey officially is going to school. yes, it's only a couple of days a week, and only for the morning, but it hasn't stopped me from having (multiple) meltdowns about it! my baby is on his own in a school!?! He was so excited, and so ready, he's helped me be brave about it all.<div><br></div><div>I've had a lot of emotions leading up to this and figured out, while I am sad about him going, I am also very sad about this phase of life ending. I'm no longer a mom with all her babies with her all day. I'll always have children in school now (until the last one graduates, but no need to even begin talking about that day!). </div><div><br></div><div>And while I am so happy and excited for Trey to experience more, it is SO hard leaving your precious child in someone else's care! someone else gets to spend time with him, play with him, watch him discover new things, and teach him. but I also know that someone else will get to see his kind and thoughtful heart, and my biggest hope is that he will always remember how special that is.</div><div><br></div><div>When I picked him up today the first thing he said to me was, "that was SO much fun!" The whole way home he went on and on about all the awesome things he did at school, my heart swelled! here was my first baby all grown up and telling me about his day, I sat there and prayed hard that he will always be this excited to come home and tell me everything I missed while we were apart. I love you Trey!</div><div><br></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHdR9jFu_zN30biQRBBV0ezRDjgkBjDJ-eUcrkTwR2Pq6Ac2GB_adnN9S7ipP_bRI3iw4EwAASlxadPaodfcNcCUken5hUblLiBqO2wjH43umMKiyYxi7WuiDiwToiJ-GyoyBQTyosYOM/s640/blogger-image--1870843322.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHdR9jFu_zN30biQRBBV0ezRDjgkBjDJ-eUcrkTwR2Pq6Ac2GB_adnN9S7ipP_bRI3iw4EwAASlxadPaodfcNcCUken5hUblLiBqO2wjH43umMKiyYxi7WuiDiwToiJ-GyoyBQTyosYOM/s640/blogger-image--1870843322.jpg"></a></div><br></div><div><div><br></div></div>brock + amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05699455846324868064noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1277365417540600402.post-36606982560885587682015-08-21T21:08:00.001-06:002015-08-21T21:13:56.826-06:00book clubOver the summer I read a couple parenting books, I had quite a few little "ah-ha" moments, a few of my favorite quotes were these;<br><div><div><br></div><div>"Every day in 100 small ways our children ask, "Do you see me?" "Do you hear me?" "Do I matter?" Their behavior often reflects our response."</div></div><div><br></div><div>"When a child asks you to do something they can already do for themselves, it often means, "I feel loved when you do this for me."</div><div><br></div><div>"Children are compassionate by nature. Engaging their compassion instead of igniting there self-preservation is not only more effective and guiding their behavior, it's also more affected and growing their humanity." </div><div><br></div><div>Aren't those great!? </div><div><br></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">The other day I said to Brock, "I've never felt more like I child than I do now that I'm a parent!" When my children say to me, "mommy why..." It really hits me, I'm the mom...mom's know stuff! </span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">nothing has ever kept me in closer communication to my Heavenly Father than striving to teach and guide them. And when I think about how patient, and kind, and forgiving He is to me I know I can be those things to my children. I must be, or else I'm a hypocrite! Now that I'm a mother my view of parenting has flip flopped, I think my children are changing and moulding me just as much, or more, than I am moulding them. They really are my perfect little teachers. </span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">(And just because I love them so much...more of our family pictures!) </span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiB5A3uHuyjjnh0hgRRM7-M6egj-8HHoPneGq_OEBuW_JuInz_mMUQcAlq1tjOBc2b1-ybFrc8grKk-RVlXTLib6nsTpsBJjxgFbTu-S-og0FlXbWmhKT0g9eO0lMQKMaPHaQiAUH3IFsI/s640/blogger-image--759770990.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiB5A3uHuyjjnh0hgRRM7-M6egj-8HHoPneGq_OEBuW_JuInz_mMUQcAlq1tjOBc2b1-ybFrc8grKk-RVlXTLib6nsTpsBJjxgFbTu-S-og0FlXbWmhKT0g9eO0lMQKMaPHaQiAUH3IFsI/s640/blogger-image--759770990.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipB0cYBSDNwXS0am-1YmOrPys3VL-8dw7gx3eP8XJoerjWgfKm4440Lx-HJ5q731kltt1HH9njmkKOSEKfAh_Zhwx42Ai638ZZXmFPd2qfB6RnQG4QTzt3wGoLAmmIzhIW92N0WdCmDJ4/s640/blogger-image-1087879725.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipB0cYBSDNwXS0am-1YmOrPys3VL-8dw7gx3eP8XJoerjWgfKm4440Lx-HJ5q731kltt1HH9njmkKOSEKfAh_Zhwx42Ai638ZZXmFPd2qfB6RnQG4QTzt3wGoLAmmIzhIW92N0WdCmDJ4/s640/blogger-image-1087879725.jpg"></a></div><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4UV9BZOoGD3uY4j34P7Chv9Ov7VcDMw9DqXqG0YUoMhWCvHCMapUt9LebpF6habZLVY2uI01kaOfX46b-IV4-q6CEKecwJeLyi8CywdbycBMwzmk2_BshnxDv68uEq0u_MOCnQtjAyUU/s640/blogger-image-884079153.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4UV9BZOoGD3uY4j34P7Chv9Ov7VcDMw9DqXqG0YUoMhWCvHCMapUt9LebpF6habZLVY2uI01kaOfX46b-IV4-q6CEKecwJeLyi8CywdbycBMwzmk2_BshnxDv68uEq0u_MOCnQtjAyUU/s640/blogger-image-884079153.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDH4EJV5CRuIoLe9lgn96vG5IZYnyaGQo_QoOqWg2WwrAqWHg282AqnKqN0HDEe7M9Cmn-7h5IV1MjQZYQ4Fpt80h66pwJzP7Jj2v_p-tQnCGG-fGCck9Gwv432PYY-nPjdKtKQw2PRP4/s640/blogger-image-459951003.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDH4EJV5CRuIoLe9lgn96vG5IZYnyaGQo_QoOqWg2WwrAqWHg282AqnKqN0HDEe7M9Cmn-7h5IV1MjQZYQ4Fpt80h66pwJzP7Jj2v_p-tQnCGG-fGCck9Gwv432PYY-nPjdKtKQw2PRP4/s640/blogger-image-459951003.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNtBFgGyvkRGoKpe8w3ebPyGpHH1Xp2G2XB_J6vL6bXYhtQBIJxgnE7lJwzqdQatayVAqc8yBpqpkkjLUfr4i7hF20x1cIur6Y3kHYL1-q_KOmLfwy86s4QdJiWIMLtoh-xeyeVG5z_qg/s640/blogger-image--97993968.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNtBFgGyvkRGoKpe8w3ebPyGpHH1Xp2G2XB_J6vL6bXYhtQBIJxgnE7lJwzqdQatayVAqc8yBpqpkkjLUfr4i7hF20x1cIur6Y3kHYL1-q_KOmLfwy86s4QdJiWIMLtoh-xeyeVG5z_qg/s640/blogger-image--97993968.jpg"></a></div><br></div><br></div><br></div><br></div><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><br></div>brock + amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05699455846324868064noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1277365417540600402.post-1992296324616374912015-08-17T20:42:00.001-06:002015-08-18T09:55:34.084-06:00i'm still here!my blog has been on my mind, I've missed it! I keep a running list of my thoughts in my journal, phone, and post it notes...but most haven't gone further than that! oops! writing is so calming to me, one of my favourite quotes says that "we write to taste life twice" and that is exactly how I feel! <div>not much has changed since I've last been here, but then again, so much has changed! still a little family of 5, living in beautiful Saskatoon. Brock started his 3rd year (!!!) of dental school and in a couple weeks Trey will start preschool! Claire and Trey are also doing swimming lessons this fall, and Claire is doing ballet- it seems crazy to me that we have kids big enough to 'do stuff' ha! Brock and I were just talking about our one bedroom apartment when Trey was a baby. It seems so long ago! And it is amazing to see how much has changed in the time since, and something I keep thinking about is this quote...<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzq4FqV8vT8rqr2KL-8vQpSVAJK-z8lFks7oTSiNsokh2uZ6F9k05odoq6lDidFg4wg4kO47aFiFsQKm5jlWowzmrebocSUhcY-9XkxquaKQLE2s_xP8fCClg6LHuNCVhlViVw5I3iRGU/s640/blogger-image--877530373.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzq4FqV8vT8rqr2KL-8vQpSVAJK-z8lFks7oTSiNsokh2uZ6F9k05odoq6lDidFg4wg4kO47aFiFsQKm5jlWowzmrebocSUhcY-9XkxquaKQLE2s_xP8fCClg6LHuNCVhlViVw5I3iRGU/s640/blogger-image--877530373.jpg"></a></div><div>I love this! And it is so true! there's no place I'd rather be than making our life happy together!</div><div><br></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiP2kMlW24D1uKJCy2zz4Bi9mASTKgOCUKyUYjQ7f26Qpe15GpF0zHXD6kqi8sFzz6UTzJ9lJ_rT8-hpxpErYa_NmciM6_psLXb2DxoExn5qLrsvOW4SfEbVPwgBDkuQjV_pkmNsiQZl6o/s640/blogger-image-971943839.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiP2kMlW24D1uKJCy2zz4Bi9mASTKgOCUKyUYjQ7f26Qpe15GpF0zHXD6kqi8sFzz6UTzJ9lJ_rT8-hpxpErYa_NmciM6_psLXb2DxoExn5qLrsvOW4SfEbVPwgBDkuQjV_pkmNsiQZl6o/s640/blogger-image-971943839.jpg"></a></div><br></div><div><br></div></div>brock + amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05699455846324868064noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1277365417540600402.post-65082500277222273202015-01-08T12:35:00.001-07:002015-01-13T12:43:36.848-07:00big brotherThis post is backtracking a little bit but I have been meaning to write down a couple things that trey did that are just so sweet!<div> Brock and I always say that we know it's not a coincidence that he was born first in our family. He is such a thoughtful and caring big brother and is so eager to help in our home!</div><div> Both of these little experiences happened a couple months ago- remember when I wrote about what a crazy time that was?! I know it's also no coincidence that these things happened during such a busy time! <div>The first thing happened when we were at the church cleaning up after a lunch for the missionaries. I was asked to be in charge of the meal for a zone conference- a lot of planning and shopping! every time we went to the grocery store that month my kids would ask, "is the stuff for the missionaries?" Haha! The lunch was over and we were clearing tables and cleaning the kitchen. Brigham was in his playpen, and I could hear Claire playing in the room down the hall. I wasn't sure where trey was, so I went to go look for him. I hadn't gone far and I found him laying down in the dark, peeking under the wall divider into the room where the missionaries were having their meeting. I crouched down beside him and whispered, "what are you doing in here?" He looked up at me and whispered back, "I'm just trying to listen to them. Mom, I really want to be a missionary!" My eyes stung with tears, I felt so overwhelmed with gratitude that I had been asked to help serve, and even more grateful that I had been impressed to include my children in it. I would have done it all again 10 times just to have that special moment with him! it strengthened my testimony so much that service will always bless us!</div><div>The next little experience happened only a few days after that, it was suppertime, a.k.a. madness! I hope I'm not the only mom that thinks that the hour from 5 PM to 6 PM is like a marathon! Brock was at school, brigham was crying, I was trying to herd Trey and claire to the table to eat. they were finally sitting down and starting to eat, and the thought came to me to say a blessing on the food. part of me just wanted to let them keep eating and have silence for a moment, but when moments like that come I know I am being tested. These small repetitions are the things that will form the habits in my children's lives, and so I said a silent prayer to myself, and then asked one of them if they wanted to say a blessing on the food. Trey volunteered and started saying a prayer. it was so calming to me to hear his sweet little voice talking about the day we had just had and expressing his thanks for things like the table and his bed, then he said, "and grateful for my grandma who lives with Jesus in the sun" he ended his prayer and I looked up at him, I couldn't believe how tender and thoughtful his prayer was. He had just taught me so much. We talked about his special grandma Lawnee and he said, "I wish I could see her but she is seeing me right mom, because she loves me?" by this point my tears were flowing, I reassured him and told him that I knew she was watching him and that she loves us all so much! As we were eating I thought how I would have missed such a special moment if I would've let the busy commotion of suppertime overtake what was truly important. </div><div>Thank you Trey for always being there to remind me what really matters!</div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhesfL-rEGv-5VJVvqulWcMSgWL-wOqJaxCJjNQB-7TKFnlS1GvVodZKVkEhrqy-01czm-7RZDCnVepaaE59N52Pbp-UL_Z1WBxCcJQWqPOPY-mfFqjWBmSjoYDngFWsimwnmQ-iWJzwUE/s640/blogger-image-1730040833.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhesfL-rEGv-5VJVvqulWcMSgWL-wOqJaxCJjNQB-7TKFnlS1GvVodZKVkEhrqy-01czm-7RZDCnVepaaE59N52Pbp-UL_Z1WBxCcJQWqPOPY-mfFqjWBmSjoYDngFWsimwnmQ-iWJzwUE/s640/blogger-image-1730040833.jpg"></a></div><br></div><br></div><div><div><br></div></div></div>brock + amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05699455846324868064noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1277365417540600402.post-36775793127415129222015-01-06T19:51:00.001-07:002015-01-31T10:57:34.650-07:00new year!I have mixed feelings about January, I don't like the cold, -40°C is just a tad too chilly for me, but I love new beginnings and changes, and the start of a new year is so exciting! We had such a wonderful 2014 it's hard to believe it's already over! We've learned a lot and it's been so fun watching our children grow – it's crazy to think how much can change in just 12 short months! With a new year comes New Year's resolutions, which are not particularly for me. I am more of an ongoing monthly, weekly, and daily goal person. We do, however, set yearly family goals and plans, and come up with a family theme for the year. This year the theme we have decided on comes from the hymn "have I done any good in the world today?" The part we have chosen is where it says, "doing good is a pleasure, a joy beyond measure, a blessing of duty and love."<br />
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We decided on this because in this busy (busy busy busy) season of life that we are in we felt like it was important for us to remember how much of a blessing it is to serve. And this is also something that is so important to us to teach our children, we want them to learn and feel the joy that comes from serving others! I'm excited for the things we have planned for this year, as our children are getting older it's getting so fun to plan things with them and feel of their excitement, even if it's just a trip to Costco :)<br />
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Also, this baby is almost one year old! That's all I can say about it for now because I start to cry when I talk about it!<br />
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brock + amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05699455846324868064noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1277365417540600402.post-43762788897349944752014-11-13T15:42:00.001-07:002014-11-13T16:23:06.939-07:00It's 5ambrigham has 6 little teeth pushing through his gums, he's sad and hurting, and hasn't slept more than an hour straight for the past 48 hours. it's heartbreaking to watch him and we've tried all the tricks and he's just miserable. i just got him settled after rocking, bouncing and nursing (getting bit!) for 3 hours and just as I was about to tip toe back to my bed, claire woke up- wide awake, asking for yogurt. <div><br></div><div>most days are like this.<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"> </span></div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">trey and claire did great with sleep training and were sleeping 12 hours through the night by 8 weeks. i haven't done a thing different with brigham, and I think he's slept through the night maybe 10 times in his 10 months. is it hard to be tired all the time? Yes. but I also have cherished all those quiet moments holding my baby in the stillness of the night, it's different with the third baby, there is not enough time to snuggle in the day, so I guess we make up for it at night.</span></div><div><br></div><div>shortly after trey was born I heard someone say that their, "third baby brought them to their knees." I thought it was an interesting statement, and I didn't totally understand, but I do now. when I had one baby I thought I was so busy- and I was, adjusting to taking care of a tiny human 24/7 is hard. even though I loved it all, I wasn't the one in charge anymore, and that's a big change...oh, you wanted to go into that store? well your baby just had a blowout and it's everywhere, so you're going home now... Those kinds of things...I would nap sometimes when he did, or read, or exercise, or just sit and be alone.</div><div>A week after claire was born I thought I'd never leave the house again. 2?! I had 2 babies that needed me and I was just 1 person! it took a while to get a good routine going and when the stars aligned and they were both napping I once again had that time for me. </div><div>4 days after Brigham was born I had a realization, I hadn't napped, not only that, but I had not slept. At all. there was no more, sleep when they sleep. it didn't matter how little sleep I got during the night, a new day was here, Brock was at school 12 hours a day, and I had 2 toddlers who were ready to go. Trey was done with naps, and claire stopped shortly after, and here we are 10 months later and I am feeling how I did when trey and claire were 2 months old. </div><div><br></div><div>having 1 child is busy, having 2 children was busy, but something about 3 is just different. It really has brought me to my knees. I have never offered more daily prayers in my life since becoming a mother of 3. I feel like it's actually been just one big, continous prayer. I can't do it alone- any of it. when you haven't had decent sleep in days, your house is a disaster, your toddlers are fighting, supper's burning, and your baby just woke up and is ready to nurse, what do you do? You pray. you pray that the lessons of kindness and love you teach are in your children's head somewhere. you pray dinner's not ruined because you really wanted to surprise your husband. You pray to be calm and remember what's most important. you pray to know how to best guide and teach each child. you pray because you've realized you really don't know that much. you pray over parking spots and lost blankies, about bathrooms; oh, pleeeease let us make it in time. you pray for just one more ounce of energy. you pray because in prayer you can at least talk to someone who you know will listen and who loves you- that's most important. He loves me and I need my children to feel that love.</div><div><br></div><div>the amazing thing is that I wouldn't change a thing. even in the most exhausted, crazy moment, I wouldn't want it any differently. Truly. Motherhood is incredible. How can people so tiny teach me so much? I feel like I don't even know who I was before I was a wife and mother. it's draining, refining and the greatest self evaluation there is. I feel confident in being a mother because I know I'm not alone, it's not just me. through prayer I am blessed and made more than just me. I'm more patient and understanding, I have more compassion and even more energy, so that when it's 5 in the morning I can start the day with a smile :)</div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh709rkkl18a4vJ-EbCyChGYFHMWYAeN6DnJK8Fq1SBaRnHBkj_IdknmITYKzPp2lcskrPwb4znfp2vRlFhMYhaOSknlJ08KHXIj3QpvnmxQzKjCRnJQWDiuHRlkQbx-9cJZOL7ZTWrrs8/s640/blogger-image-274066912.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh709rkkl18a4vJ-EbCyChGYFHMWYAeN6DnJK8Fq1SBaRnHBkj_IdknmITYKzPp2lcskrPwb4znfp2vRlFhMYhaOSknlJ08KHXIj3QpvnmxQzKjCRnJQWDiuHRlkQbx-9cJZOL7ZTWrrs8/s640/blogger-image-274066912.jpg"></a></div>just in case you don't know what 2 days of no sleep looks like ;)</div><br></div><div><br></div>brock + amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05699455846324868064noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1277365417540600402.post-49738482099937273212014-11-01T22:43:00.001-06:002014-11-01T22:43:45.968-06:00where has the time gone...what a crazy month it has been! I'm sitting here thinking how treys birthday was only a month ago; it feels like three months have passed! i honestly don't think i have ever had so much going on- brock is pretty much drowning in school work, church callings, appointments for Trey's foot, joy school...and a million other things i am too tired to think of. I've been humbled the past couple weeks as I have had to pray to simply be magnified to just be able to make it through the day. it's amazing how 'heavy' a million little things can feel, and I know I've been blessed in so many ways to accomplish much more than I am capable of doing alone. but with October behind us, I think (fingers crossed) things should slow down a bit! trey has his surgery on Monday, and they'll put a cast on that he'll have until his foot is healed, so no more weekly trips to the hospital! Yay! Parking at this hospital has been a trial all in itself this month...<div>and now that it's November, the countdown to Christmas is on! and I may have already put up some Christmas decor ;)</div><div>our days, and nights, may be a bit of a whirlwind, but there are still those shining moments that bless me with an overwhelming feeling of purpose. I know that being a loving, (striving to be) patient wife and mother are the two most noble and scared titles I will ever hold, and I am so grateful for each day that I have to try to do my best!</div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEji_mQF-st2bRN-h_QM2QkueomisuMIPwXmflUoFHY3PVpSDDd0IXL9KSfhUpyNuPGGdOsK8AZMUsjmEmKL2lse-ZWePNyNelz9XkYaItUlP5T2hyphenhyphen-QDhXrsu9lDI2cRNWSaQpNd7MV18E/s640/blogger-image--1146988051.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEji_mQF-st2bRN-h_QM2QkueomisuMIPwXmflUoFHY3PVpSDDd0IXL9KSfhUpyNuPGGdOsK8AZMUsjmEmKL2lse-ZWePNyNelz9XkYaItUlP5T2hyphenhyphen-QDhXrsu9lDI2cRNWSaQpNd7MV18E/s640/blogger-image--1146988051.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHcZpOvf6FWgaIRjKrIOvzXCwt-M89JGt6sB3c1acPYaMxtbeVQDFF7N8fBVOKTyu9uOHPDf1mHDgFh0PFYIcqWeq1lotENxrdlnC5ThKrjtEXlZdD828XGlQ5_oifkPhyuHc0v6UwzDg/s640/blogger-image-1858690441.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHcZpOvf6FWgaIRjKrIOvzXCwt-M89JGt6sB3c1acPYaMxtbeVQDFF7N8fBVOKTyu9uOHPDf1mHDgFh0PFYIcqWeq1lotENxrdlnC5ThKrjtEXlZdD828XGlQ5_oifkPhyuHc0v6UwzDg/s640/blogger-image-1858690441.jpg"></a></div><br></div>brock + amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05699455846324868064noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1277365417540600402.post-18868782732477486182014-09-21T16:00:00.001-06:002014-09-22T15:54:40.183-06:005 years<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">it's a week, and a few days late, but happy anniversary to the man of my dreams! i am so in love with this guy! </span><br>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I tend to write a lot about our children and being a mother, and maybe don't record enough about the person who is my constant support, encourager, listening ear and shoulder to cry on - Brock. Brock is just amazing, he's a expert time manager and goal setter (and achiever!) he is SO busy it makes my head spin, but he has always made me feel like his number 1 priority! even when the days and months and semesters are looooong, he is always doing little things to surprise me and make me feel so special. He is an amazing dad, I knew he would be, but watching how naturally and completely he loves it fills my heart to bursting! Our children adore him, and I don't blame them :)</span><br><br>
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">He gets up and makes me breakfast, he knows just the perfect amount of peanut butter I like on my toast, and he always leaves the last yogurt for me. he puts toothpaste on my toothbrush. he is so selfless and patient and kind. I have never once heard him yell or raise his voice over anything. he helps me so much around the house, I'll think he's studying but then I find a clean kitchen! he doesn't complain when he finds me rearranging the furniture or starting another project, or sending him to pick up something I bought off kijiji. he encourages me to find time for myself. he is always complimenting me, telling me how beautiful he thinks I am, and if I buy something new to wear </span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">he makes sure I try it on for him. he makes the bed, even to my OCD standard, he cleans the car and takes out the garbage. And a million other little things that just make me so happy!</span><br>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I was thinking of all the ways we have grown and how our love for each other has deepened over the past 5 years. he understands the little things that are important to me, and I understand what’s important to him, and we work hard and plan to make sure things stay balanced, that neither one of us is getting burnt out. we both work hard, and life is busy, but we've committed to make sure it's full of fun too. I think the fun and laughter is what motivates us to work hard at everything else. I am such a better version of myself since marrying Brock, it's only been 5 years, but it's hard to remember how life was without him. I'm so grateful we have each other.</span>brock + amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05699455846324868064noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1277365417540600402.post-17612088551071014452014-08-28T22:47:00.001-06:002014-08-30T22:14:53.793-06:00everyday I've read a lot of articles lately about habits and routines. one was titled something like, 5 ways to be happy. I've been thinking about it and started to notice the things I do everyday that bring me joy, some are deliberate, some I just realized I do, none of them are a big deal, which, is why, I guess I can accomplish them each day, but, these little things make a big difference to me and I wanted to record them!<br />
<br />
(no particular order here...)<br />
Get up early! I've always loved getting up early, I feel like I'm a bit opposite of most people, if I sleep in I'm grumpy! I just love the feeling of sneaking extra time out of the day! And since my kids are up by 6am, it isn't hard to :)<br />
<br />
Do a project! some projects are big, like go through all the storage...some are small, get groceries., or take someone a treat, either way, I like to accomplish something tangible.<br />
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Quiet time. Praying and studying the scriptures is the most vital part of my day. there is nothing that has greater power over my mood and outlook. I need this time. some days it's 5 minutes, other days it's an hour. but it has to be there.<br />
I also love the quiet time with my children, I try to find time to be alone with each of them throughout the day, just to hold them, and kiss them, and soak them in. those are such sweet moments. I spend my days with 3 perfect little people.<br />
<br />
Sweat! My favorite is running... Go outside, say hi and smile to everyone you pass, and tell me you're not in a better mood! getting outside, being able to get lost in my own thoughts is like therapy. Running is when I have the time to think, problem solve and I always get my best ideas while running!<br />
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Make the beds! it takes me less than 3 minutes to make the beds (I've timed it) and even if the rest if the house is a disaster, seeing a clean bed keeps me calm.<br />
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Time with Brock. when we were first married we made a promise to have alone time everyday, with 3 children and dental school things are sometimes tricky. Usually our time is after the children are asleep before he starts studying, or else I wait up for him to come home. These times together are a must for me, us, and our family. we can talk about how things are going, our struggles, what's on our mind. it keeps us connected and grounded during all the craziness!<br />
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My "British accent" I've always loved talking with a British accent...you can't tell me you don't?? Well, I've discovered my children think it's hilarious! I bust it out when things are getting stressful and they get so busy laughing they forget what they were fighting/crying about. try it!<br />
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Call/text/email a family member. I try to keep in close contact with our families, even just a short texting conversation helps me feel connected and reminds me how loved I am. I hope it does the same for them!<br />
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Record! do you keep a gratitude journal? Each night I write down things I'm grateful for. when I feel too tired I try to just think of a word that sums up how I was feeling that day about gratitude, I have words like, peace, tears, light...and some nights it's a few pages. no matter how little or how much ive written I fall asleep feeling overwhelmed thinking about my blessings, this helps me see past the bad, the challenges and struggles and remember to just trust and have faith.<br />
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there is more...I didn't include the obvious things, like eating, sleeping...putting on deodarant, but I think those things are at the top of my list of things i do! what do you do each day that makes you happy? I'd love to know!...brock + amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05699455846324868064noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1277365417540600402.post-6223418726371859272014-08-20T16:18:00.001-06:002014-08-20T16:18:17.010-06:00sweet sweet summerour summer break has come to an end. it has been heavenly! we've spent the time with our family, at cabins and lakes, swimming, biking, playing, golfing, boating, hiking and all other summery goodness! i love being outside and after an especially harsh winter, spending the whole day outdoors feels, so SO good! it's been wonderful watching our children play the day away with their cousins and grandparents. Our days were filled with little adventures with our three little people. we didn't make any big plans, or go far, but it was perfect. This quote came to my mind many times over the summer, as I watched trey and claire make sand castles, brigham playing in the grass, and watching Brock fish until sunset...<br />
"all things great are wound up with all things little."<br />
I feel like that sums up our summer, really, our life right now; many little things that are adding up to be the biggest adventure of all.<br />
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<br />brock + amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05699455846324868064noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1277365417540600402.post-35641294769981929732014-08-04T20:20:00.001-06:002014-08-04T20:20:57.073-06:00my girlclaire is adventurous, she always has been, but watching her explore this summer has made me realize how grown up she is becoming! she's fiesty, determined, and independent, but also, soft, thoughtful and caring. she loves her brothers, and daddy and mom. she's the best at cuddling. she loves to sing songs, and run and jump, but she'll sit on your lap forever and read books. she's brave and smart and fun. so many traits in such a tiny girl, i wouldn't change a thing.<br />
little claire lawnee<br />
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<br />brock + amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05699455846324868064noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1277365417540600402.post-64075041192591077472014-07-10T16:03:00.000-06:002014-07-10T16:03:20.967-06:00go team!people often say to me, especially since having brigham, "how do YOU do it all?" and, the truth is i don't! I have an amazing husband, partner in crime, baby daddy, best friend, right beside me! we say quite often to each other, "we have three kids..." then we usually start laughing! i think we forget that most people's first 5 years of marriage doesn't include 7 moves, 3 children, and dental school, and it takes a trip to Costco, with 2 full carts and 3 crying children , to remind us we're not 'the norm'...<br />
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a week after we were married we sat down and made some goal lists; 5 year, 10 year, and life long. we made plans in how we would accomplish them and set out on this crazy adventure! fast forward to a month ago, i was packing things to come to alberta, when i pulled them out of my nightstand, everything on the 5 year list was done! i was shocked, not to say i didn't think we could do it, but it felt like we had just written it, and here we are, already done! i thought back on on the work we had put into those goals, and i know, there is no way either of us could have done them on our own. our life together has been wonderful, and crazy, and busy, but in the hardest of times we have grown closer, and looking at that list i realized that more than ever. brock is the perfect support to me, and when life is stressing us out we turn to each other for the extra love we need, and i am learning from him how to show unwavering patience. brock doesn't like when i tell him he's perfect, but there are 3 people in our family who i know agree with me, i have never seen this guy mad. ever! I'm still waiting for him to raise his voice, or something...ha! he is so quick to see the big picture and forgives so freely. he's a kid at heart and makes us all laugh, then he buckles down and works long and hard for us all. he has made me a better person.<br />
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thank you brock for always making me feel so loved, for making me smile. thank you for bringing the babies in to me in the middle of the night when they need to be fed, and for putting toothpaste on my toothbrush. thank you for crying with me, and for cheering me on. thank you for being my team mate.<br />
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<br />brock + amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05699455846324868064noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1277365417540600402.post-69893984861418827462014-06-18T13:16:00.002-06:002014-06-18T13:16:19.714-06:00my baby boy and me<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
It's 3 AM, they're all asleep,<br />
And no one's here to see.<br />
As we rock slowly back and forth,<br />
My baby boy and me.<br />
<br />
His little hand is featherlight<br />
Tucked up against my chin.<br />
I hold his tiny hand in mine,<br />
And stroke his baby skin.<br />
<br />
The house about us creaks and groans,<br />
The clock hand's creep around.<br />
He snuggles closer to me still,<br />
And makes his baby sounds.<br />
<br />
I love these quiet hours so much,<br />
And cherish every one.<br />
Store memories inside my heart<br />
For lonely nights to come.<br />
<br />
All too soon he'll be grown up,<br />
His need for mama gone.<br />
But until then I still have time<br />
For kisses and song.<br />
<br />
Time for quiet hours like this<br />
With him cuddled in my arms.<br />
Where I wish he'd always stay,<br />
Protected, safe and warm.<br />
<br />
And yet I know the day will come<br />
When his tiny little hand,<br />
Will be bigger than my own.<br />
He'll grow into man.<br />
<br />
But until then he's mine to love<br />
With no one here to see.<br />
As we rock slowly back and forth,<br />
My baby boy and me.<br />
<br />
...Author unknown<br />
<br />
<br />brock + amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05699455846324868064noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1277365417540600402.post-9780783144523880882014-06-16T20:49:00.000-06:002014-06-16T20:53:10.858-06:00walking weekendThis year the "relay for life" and "muscular dystrophy walk" fell on the same weekend. two events that mean a lot to us and our families.<br />
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we were on "team brynn" for "relay for life", i went with my mom and aunts to set up the tent and our little site. my mom put so much work into the decorations, we tried to make it "brynn approved" and i know she loved it! the walk started at 7pm and ended at 7am, brock and the kids stayed until about 9:30, then I stayed with brigham through the night. it was fun to be with my family, cousins, aunts and uncles, we all love each other so much, it is so comforting. But, like every family gathering, and obviously this event especially, brynn's presence is so missed, and longed for. it is so hard to believe she has been away from us for 8 months already, i can hear so clearly her sweet, soft voice. i'll admit, the thought of walking around an outdoor track at 3am didn't sound totally appealing, but i wanted to be there, if for no other reason than to give myself quiet time to reflect on brynn's life and example to me. i was happy i could support the lund family, i love them so much, and it stings my heart to watch them miss her. i would walk around a track all night, every night, for all of them.<br />
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i got to my parents house just after 7am, crashed for about and hour then got ready to head to the "walk for muscular dystrophy" for this walk we are on team "DLC" Doug (brock's grandpa) Lawnee (brock's angel mother) Chelsie (brock's sister, who is now living with muscular dystrophy) I am always amazed at HOW MANY people are there to show support, from both sides of brocks family, aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, 2nd cousins, friends...so many people showing love, it's wonderful! watching the whole big group doing the warm up together i can just imagine lawnee's smile seeing her growing family laughing together. i think about her everyday, and i know brock misses her friendship and phone calls, but we know she is watching us each day. there have been moments when each of our babies were born that both brock, and i, have felt her love for them and for us. our children love looking at the pictures of their grandma in heaven. i feel so blessed to be a part of the amazing steed and wilde families!<br />
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it was a busy, exhausting(!) weekend, but, it was wonderful!<br />
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<br />brock + amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05699455846324868064noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1277365417540600402.post-12143616395706289902014-05-27T14:24:00.002-06:002014-05-27T14:26:07.690-06:00little girlmy little claire, you are two! where has the time gone? i remember the day you were born like it was yesterday, we barely made it to the hospital, then there you were, wide eyed and beautiful, taking in the world and staring into our eyes. i was so excited and humbled to have a daughter! it has been so wonderful watching you grow and learn and change from that little newborn into the sweet and spunky little girl you are today. you have so many talents that are already evident; you are caring, always looking after your brothers and so aware of everyone's feelings, quick to give a hug and a kiss if someone is sad. you are silly and, make us all laugh, especially trey! you are musical, i love to sing songs with you and watch you dance and twirl. you are smart, you always figure out a way to solve your problems and you are determined to keep up with trey! you can count to 11 and (kind of) sing the alphabet. you are brave. it amazes us the things you do and are willing to try! you are strong willed, right now this may cause some tantrums...but i'm listing it as a talent because I know as you grow you will be able to stand up for what's right. i love the feeling of your soft, tiny fingers playing with my hair and eyelashes. you love to wear dresses and high heels, and treys power ranger mask, you like to do whatever trey is doing, and you love your baby and your blankies. every night i sneak in and look at you fast asleep, i look at your beautiful little face, so still and peaceful, you're still so little, but it scares me how fast you are growing and how much you are learning and doing! i wish so badly i could freeze time so i could soak it all in for longer! last night as i was looking at you, your long legs sprawled out in your big girl bed, with your soft hair falling over your eyes, thoughts just started flooding in, so many things I want you to know and learn. watching you and seeing your determination, your abilities, your quirks and your total confidence, makes me so happy! i wish i could bottle up your innocence and silliness and save it forever! you make me so much better, because i am trying so hard to be the kind of woman you can follow and be proud of! there are so many things i want to share with you, lessons I have learned, and i know will always be true, whether you are 2 or 102!<br />
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*hard work is a blessing! there's going to be times when i force you to weed the garden, clean bathrooms, get a summer job, and do a neighbours yard work. maybe you'll love it, maybe you won't. but i promise one day you will thank me. working hard is one of the greatest things we can do. it's amazing to be able to complete a task and accomplish hard things, whether its physical labour or academic discipline, getting in there and "getting your hands dirty" is awesome! set goals- then work hard to achieve them! Hard work is never wasted.<br />
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*more is not better! there is so much STUFF out there! it is so easy to become obsessed with getting more, making more, doing more! but that's the problem- there is always more. i promise you you will find happiness and contentment when you look at all the blessing you HAVE!<br />
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*your body is a gift! it doesn't matter the shape or size, or even physical capabilities, your body is the body God gave to you. don't worry about the numbers, show your body you love it by taking care of it. eat fruits and vegetables, and some chocolate. go for a walk or run to explore, not to burn calories! say kind things about yourself and about others. we all look different, and that's a wonderful thing! don't waste time comparing, spend your time living!<br />
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*laugh! and do it everyday! laughing feels so good, if you're like me, your eyes will water and your cheeks will hurt- it's a great feeling. be with people who make you laugh- your dad and i laugh a lot, i think marrying someone who makes you laugh should be high on your priority list. no matter the challenges, if you and your spouse can find something to smile about, things will always be alright. and don't forget to laugh at yourself! sometimes, often times, little things just don't quite go as planned, just laugh!<br />
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*be brave to be you! it sounds chilche, but you are the only you! when you realize this, you will be happier! you weren't meant to look, or be like anyone but yourself! that means you have the freedom to discover things for yourself, have your own opinion, and do something even if no one else is.<br />
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*disappointment and heartache happen. i don't mean to sound pessimistic, but sad things will happen, but through these experiences we learn more about ourselves, our strengths and our potential. through hardships we learn how to help others, and we learn we are never truly alone. I will always be there, and The Lord will always and constantly be there. my heart aches at the thought of your heart aching, but i know if we rely on the Saviour, we will find peace.<br />
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*being sensitive and tender and kind does not mean you are weak. showing patience and love to your family and to strangers is the truest sign of humility and respect. always remember you don't know the whole story and your smile and kind words, sometimes are the only ones a person may receive. try to be a light for others to see and follow. be a friend to the person who is alone. remember there is no greater gift you can give than your time and care.<br />
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*find things you love, and do them! i hope you always have the courage to try new things and make time for things that make you happy! i am a strong believer in working hard and playing hard! read books, take an art class, go snowbarding, play an instrument- try it all! <br />
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* know that being a mother is the greatest work. it's hard to put into words the feelings of being a mother. i feel as though you, and your brothers are pieces of me, of my heart, that now are outside my body. it's terrifiying and overwhelming to love so much. it's you more than you could ever imagine, until hopefully one day, you become a mother. i have never felt closer to Heavenly Father and the Savior than i have in carrying my children, and raising them. i know you are a percious gift, that you have inherent gift and qualities that i am to help you cultivate and grow, and watching you is truly amazing. being a mother is demanding, there are no breaks or days off and there is no one standing there praising you after you wiped the floor, or a poopy bum for the 100th time that day, but i hope you know, and i can show you, that there is absolutely nothing else i would rather be doing. i feel a sense of wholeness in being a mother, that i am who i want to be. i have a mother who made motherhood seem magical, i couldn't wait until it was my turn, i hope i can be that same example of joy in woman and motherhood for you.<br />
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* and finally, all encompassing, and most importnantly- love the Lord. it is a simple statement, but means everything. it means peace, safety, joy, courage, power and hope. the foundation of your identity is that you are a daughter of God, nothing else can give true self esteem or purpose. the world- quite frankly- is a pretty big mess, there is so much, too much, out there that will try to tell you what's important and what is right, but the only way to know is to listen to the spirit. the spirit brings comfort and guidance, we are reminded of the things that are of eternal value; covenants and faith and family. study the scriptures, they are a sacred and vital gift, and the source of truth. follow the cousel of prophets and apostltes. always remember there is a plan for you, that you, and everyone, is a child of God. rely on the atonement, the Savior knows and understands perfectly, He sees your limitless potential. you are never alone, and never forgotten. <br />
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i love you sweet girl<br />
xo<br />
mom <br />
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brock + amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05699455846324868064noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1277365417540600402.post-9990730317276963232014-05-06T19:46:00.001-06:002014-05-06T19:46:05.504-06:00this view <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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this view means i am sitting down, on my couch, for the first time today. it's not even 7:30 and all three children are asleep in their beds, and i'm just sitting here watching the sun pour in the window, and i literally just let out a sigh just typing those words.<div>
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today, like a lot of days lately, was crazy. constant feeding, cleaning, wiping, hugging, holding, rocking, driving, cooking, singing, playing; the list goes on. the days pass by so quickly it scares me. it scares me that i'm not doing enough, or more like, i'm not enough. i've recently had an epiphany- what i do is hard, pretty boring epiphany i know, but let me explain. </div>
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people all around me are going through hard things, things that break my heart, and i think, "woah, that is hard!" so when i'm feeling stressed, anxious, and worn out, i feel guilty because i think I should be able to handle this, i'm not having to endure ________. i have a happy family, 3 beautiful children a hard working husband and a safe home with a full pantry. but sometimes when the husband is gone all the time studying and working harder than ever, the baby is hungry, dinner is burning, and the 2 year old is screaming for juice while the 3 year old whacks you in the back with a plastic sword, i feel like maybe my life can be hard too. so letting myself feel like that is okay without feeling guilty is a big deal to me. instead of beating myself up, i've learned instead to slow down, breathe and find a stillness inside myself that hopefully can translate into the environment around me. someone recently asked me how having my third baby was, and the first word that came to me was, "refining." there is not a single moment, no matter how crazy, i would change anything about our lives. we are learning and growing and leaning on each other. my children are moulding me into something much better than i have ever thought i could be, and i only hope they can learn something from me along the way too.</div>
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brock + amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05699455846324868064noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1277365417540600402.post-34607298062654975442014-04-21T23:11:00.001-06:002014-04-21T23:11:16.428-06:00late night (random) thoughts• we've made it through another semester, Brock is in his last week of classes, and will finish exams on may 17! he's worked so hard this year. i'm cinstantly in awe at all he is able to accomplish! it's kind of crazy to think he only has 3 years left! if someone would have told me that we were going to live in saskatoon for 7 years i'm not sure i would have been too happy, but it's won us over and i'm already sad thinking about leaving...but that's a different post for another time!<br />
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• a deck is being built in our backyard! we can't wait to enjoy the warm summer nights out there! (so hurry up weather, and get warm!)<br />
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• we will soon have a 2 year old again, Claire's birthday is next week! we love this fiesty little girl a whole bunch- she keeps us entertained, in both good and bad ways...ha!<br />
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• Brigham is 3 months old, and still our little angel baby. he's sleeping 7:30pm-7:30am straight through, and wakes up and starts sucking his thumb. it's actually pretty ridiculous how content and amazing he is, which just makes me want to kiss his chubby cheeks until they fall off, and have a dozen more babies! he's cooing and laughing, and trey and claire love to 'play' with him, he's usually buried in blankets and toys.<br />
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• i'm starting to plan out our summer and we want to do a (maybe a couple?) little road trips! anyone have any fun places we should try? I was thinking maybe kelowna, or possibly Spokane? we would probably max out around 10 hours in the car, so close...but not too close :)<br />
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• trey is such a big boy! him going into primary this year, and totally loving it, not needing us, even in other wards(!), has really made it hit home that he his growing up! it's awesome to see him learning so much, and loving meeting new friends and trying different thing...but also makes me cry! i love to lay by him at night and talk about all the thoughts in his little head, my sweet baby is a little man. but he'll still fall asleep in my arms, so it's okay, for now.<br />
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• we're entering the season where these two need a nightly hose down. grass in hair, dirt under fingernails, mud on toes. we've been waiting for these days all winter!<br />
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<br />brock + amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05699455846324868064noreply@blogger.com0