practice, and more practice.

first of all, read this article.

I love it. I love reading and studying about grace. I think it's something that is often misunderstood, just like the author stated, "The truth is, Jesus paid our debt in full. He didn’t pay it all except for a few coins. He paid it all. It is finished.” 

we are not here to pay Christ back for what he has done for us, he asks us to show how grateful we are for it.

I loved the analogy of piano lessons, it was so simple, and yet perfectly depicts the role that grace plays in our salvation.

I really like the thought i am "learning heaven". I feel like with enough practice I can learn anything, and it is so comforting that that is exactly what the Savior asks, because he has already met the demands of justice, he allows us the time that we require to get better- each person is allowed their own timeline. It is so amazing. It doesn't matter who might be ahead, or behind me, as long as I am moving forward, I am doing what he asks. Growing, and becoming more like him. 

when I think about the statement, "his grace is sufficient", I can feel myself filling with hope. I feel worries and self doubt leaving, because I know that statement is true. All I need to do is keep trusting and keep trying. this line has been running through my mind since I read this article, "The miracle of the Atonement is not just that we can go home but that—miraculously—we can feel at home there."

What a wonderful promise!

these two

claire is talking a lot more lately, and the conversations I hear from these two are downright hilarious! I spend a good chunck of time hiding and listening to them, holding in my laughter so i don't interrupt. here's a little sample.

claire: hi, trey trey
trey: clairey, come here! hurry, come here! claire? are you coming? it's me, remember? this is trey trey!
claire: hiiiiiiiiiiii
trey: let's get outta here! come with me! this way, i'm leeeeaving!
(then i here laughing and running, then claire crying, then trey trying to pick her up, then more running)
trey: let's go on mom's bed! come up here!
claire: (whining) peasssssss
trey: okay, i'll help you, hold on!
(now i'm peeking in the door watching trey grab claire's hands, then arms. when that doesn't work he gets down and lifts her by her butt, then they both fall over)
trey: mom! help! claire's squishing meeeeeee! wait, claire come under this bed!
claire: o-key
....that's about 2 minutes worth of our day.

these two are mischief makers, they're loud, they're messy, they pick on each other. but more then all of that, they just plain love each other, and it makes my heart feel like it's going to burst!

for me

i write this blog for me. it is in writing that i can sift through my thoughts and feelings. i find things about myself that i maybe hadn't realized before. and i've found that there are few voices that can encourage me as well as my own. i love reading back through the years, seeing the changes, seeing dreams that have become reality, and recognizing lessons learned through challenges. i love seeing the pictures of old houses, smaller babies, and wonderful memories.

brock and i were talking last night about how strange it is to be 'growing up', becuase it's just that- strange. i have learned so much about myself as a wife and mother. lessons about loving, and serving, compromising, and sacrificing. i have realized how much more i have to learn and improve on.

i write it all down to remember these lessons and experiences that have shaped me into who i am, and  will help me become the person i want to be.

why?

i feel like we are entering a new stage with trey, he seems to be leaving "toddlerhood" behind him and becoming a little boy. i love the conversations we have, and hearing the new things he wants to talk about. and now almost everything we are doing involes the words, "why mom?"
the other day we were driving and he was asking me questions, i know time must have kept moving forward, but in my mind it stopped, it was one of those, mylifejustflashedbeforemyeyes, moments. my mind was racing to the future, thinking of those crucial decisions and life altering moments. i thought of the moments in life i have asked, and wondered why?

life has so much in store for my little babies. there are so many things i am excited to teach them and watch them discover, but life also has a way of becoming overwhelming by all that it has to offer. i feel like i try everyday to block out things from my mind that do not matter, and remember the things that i know for sure. to remember the freedom that my faith and family and knowledge of eternal life give to me. i know that no matter what challenges i face and choices i am making, the ultimate "why" that reigns over everything i do, is that i am choosing to try and become a more Christ-like person. 

i know i won't always be able to answer all of the questions my children ask me, but i do know the answers to some important ones.