my baby boy and me

It's 3 AM, they're all asleep,
And no one's here to see.
As we rock slowly back and forth,
My baby boy and me.

His little hand is featherlight
Tucked up against my chin.
I hold his tiny hand in mine,
And stroke his baby skin.

The house about us creaks and groans,
The clock hand's creep around.
He snuggles closer to me still,
And makes his baby sounds.

I love these quiet hours so much,
And cherish every one.
Store memories inside my heart
For lonely nights to come.

All too soon he'll be grown up,
His need for mama gone.
But until then I still have time
For kisses and song.

Time for quiet hours like this
With him cuddled in my arms.
Where I wish he'd always stay,
Protected, safe and warm.

And yet I know the day will come
When his tiny little hand,
Will be bigger than my own.
He'll grow into man.

But until then he's mine to love
With no one here to see.
As we rock slowly back and forth,
My baby boy and me.

...Author unknown

walking weekend

This year the "relay for life" and "muscular dystrophy walk" fell on the same weekend. two events that mean a lot to us and our families.

we were on "team brynn" for "relay for life", i went with my mom and aunts to set up the tent and our little site. my mom put so much work into the decorations, we tried to make it "brynn approved" and i know she loved it! the walk started at 7pm and ended at 7am, brock and the kids stayed until about 9:30, then I stayed with brigham through the night. it was fun to be with my family, cousins, aunts and uncles, we all love each other so much, it is so comforting. But, like every family gathering, and obviously this event especially, brynn's presence is so missed, and longed for. it is so hard to believe she has been away from us for 8 months already, i can hear so clearly her sweet, soft voice. i'll admit, the thought of walking around an outdoor track at 3am didn't sound totally appealing, but i wanted to be there, if for no other reason than to give myself quiet time to reflect on brynn's life and example to me. i was happy i could support the lund family, i love them so much, and it stings my heart to watch them miss her. i would walk around a track all night, every night, for all of them.

i got to my parents house just after 7am, crashed for about and hour then got ready to head to the "walk for muscular dystrophy" for this walk we are on team "DLC" Doug (brock's grandpa) Lawnee (brock's angel mother) Chelsie (brock's sister, who is now living with muscular dystrophy) I am always amazed at HOW MANY people are there to show support, from both sides of brocks family, aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, 2nd cousins, friends...so many people showing love, it's wonderful! watching the whole big group doing the warm up together i can just imagine lawnee's smile seeing her growing family laughing together. i think about her everyday, and i know brock misses her friendship and phone calls, but we know she is watching us each day. there have been moments when each of our babies were born that both brock, and i, have felt her love for them and for us. our children love looking at the pictures of their grandma in heaven. i feel so blessed to be a part of the amazing steed and wilde families!

it was a busy, exhausting(!) weekend, but, it was wonderful!