right now

we got home last night from a weekend trip to alberta. it was a fast, but very special trip. we put the children to bed and unpacked our bags. i went in to kiss trey one more time before i went to bed, his little superhero guys were all lined up on a pillow "sleeping" and his blankie was bundled under his perfect little chin. i know it won't be like this forever and it makes my heart hurt. he won't be playing with trains, and trucks forever. he won't spend an hour splashing in the tub, or ask me to kiss his owies better.

our baby boy turned three last week, and when i showed brock the pictures from his little friend party he started crying, neither of us can believe how grown up and happy and sweet this little boy is. i can't believe how big he and claire are getting- i feel like they were both just tiny babies! time seems to be going by so fast, too fast!

right now trey and claire are busy and curious, which keeps me on my toes. claire wants to be held while i am cooking or doing laundry, trey wants me to build towers with him all day, or play puppies and let him lick my face all over. as soon as i turn the water on to shower they are standing there wanting to come in. they both want to be carried inside from the van, and need the same snack and drink at the exact same time. finding 10 minutes to just sit during the day is rare and most days by the time 8pm rolls around my feet and body are ready to collapse. i know what i do all day is demanding, hard work. i also know it is an extremely important work. a couple weeks ago i was feeling defeated. there were so many things i wanted to be doing that i could not find time to do. the next morning i was kneeling (trying) to pray, trey and claire were on my back, climbing over me and sitting on my head. i thought there's no point in trying to do this right now, i laid my head down on my bed and the most comforting feeling came over me. i knew Heavenly Father was aware of what was going on in that very moment. that He knew the things my heart desired. as i went through the day i realized making dinner and wiping the floor could be just as spiritual of an experience as reading my scriptures if i focused on the love i felt in serving my family. thier physical care is important to Heavenly Father, and serving them is serving Him. i know if i do my best He will magnify me to be able to do what i need to. that He sees my efforts in what i am striving to accomplish and whether i think it is or not, to Him it is enough. i feel strengthened in the things i AM doing, and know i don't have to feel guilty about the things i'm not. i have to remind myself there is a time and season for all things. and right now i am blessed to be caring for these perfect little beings.